HOW TO FIND JOY IN THE MIDST OF TRAGEDY

11/11 HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SWEETHEART!

We'll always have St. Barth's!

2008 St. Barth

Here is Lydia in front of the Gene Simmon's Axe Bass Guitar Bus!

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My friend (not pictured here) whom Cristina and I rescued from a extremely violent domestic abuse situation, is staying with me and just beginning to heal and have hope. In years, no one has had the time to listen to her story or help her. No one has believed her -- that a person so sweet could have everything taken from her for no reason at all. She is prone to giggle at the slightest courtesy. She has been through so much pain and violence, that when someone opens a door for her at the grocery store — stops to actually help her cross the street, figure out a parking ticket or actually talk to her and listen — she is overjoyed. Talk about appreciating life. When everything is taken from you, you can really be grateful for the little things.

ONE DAY AT A TIME IN ALANON... Some thoughts from my friend Mary in Shanghai:

After being sober for a while I see that no situation lasts forever. I used to have this horrible sense of urgency around my problems that I had to impulsively just do "something" to fix it all immediately or I would be so uncomfortable in my own skin, anxious and worried and burdened. So coming from this anxiety I often acted wrongly or suffered needlessly. I thought if I didn't do something about it right now it would be here for all time. Now I know that everything passes eventually.

Today, I can ask myself "What can I do about this right here, right now?" This question helps me to identify my responsibilities today surrounding this more realistically and shows me what part of the situation is beyond my control today. What I cannot do today I turn over. I remember I am in the footwork business, God is in the results business.

Reasoning things out with my sponsor or someone from the fellowship can help me to seperate todays problems with those of the past and the future. I will trust my Higher Power with tomorrow.
Then I do what I can and "turn over" the rest. In the 12-step program we turn our burdens, worries and fears over to our higher power.

"Today is only a small manageable segment of time in which my difficulties need not overwhelm me. This lifts from our hearts and minds the heavy weight of both past and future".

THE VOICE IN THE TREES... an essay on being a homeless woman. Back by popular demand... coming soon.

Rather than wanting to hold to the past longer, and slow things down, and stop the aging process -- just revel in the power of now! You can't stop time, and you won't stop the recycling process that is taking place upon this planet, nor would you want to -- but you do not have to suffer the moving through time. Every moment can be more wonderful than the moment before. - Abraham

Arianna Huffington: Why It's Wrong When Wrongdoers Are Allowed to Admit No Wrongdoing

Last week, JP Morgan agreed to a $722 million settlement with the SEC stemming from a risky derivatives deal that drove Alabama's most populous county to the brink of bankruptcy. As part of the settlement, JPMorgan neither admitted nor denied wrongdoing -- despite ample evidence that it had engaged in plenty of wrongdoing. This is what passes for justice on Wall Street: regulators give a company a ding to its bottom line, and are ready to quickly forget the whole thing and allow the company to move on to the next lucrative money-printing scheme. When corporate perpetrators don't have to admit they did anything wrong, it's as if the crime never happened. Which, of course, makes it much more likely that it will happen again.

SUMMER IN MALIBU COLONY WITH THE BEAUTIFUL SUZAN HUGHES!

Top photo: Suzan, bottom photo: Lydia

BARBADOS: Lydia, Cheryl Hines, Sharon Case

HOW TO GET RICH? GIVE TO THE POOR

FIGHTING YOUR ENEMIES ONLY MAKES THEM STRONGER
Even in the midst of tragedy, there is a spiritual law of surrender: when you let go and accept whatever is happening in this very moment — when you stop worrying, stop stressing, start appreciating and start giving more than you receive — magic begins to happen in your life. No matter what is going on, there is always something to be grateful for. Sometimes you have to lose your life to save it. Sometimes you have to lose everything to gain what's really valuable.

It's a spiritual law: the more you give, the more you receive. Wayne Dyer, in his bestselling book You’ll See it When You Believe It, says that the magic of giving actually is a law in the universe and works like clockwork. Every single time he sent out 10% to charity of any income that came in, his income doubled, tripled and rose exponentially.

All sorts of wonderful things opened up when I started giving, tithing, caring about others and giving things away. In the debauched 80's, I even offered to drive a friend to the airport — an unheard of gesture in L.A. during that time. No one drove anyone to the airport; it was considered a huge imposition. But everytime I would give time or money, both time and money would expand. Soon, an abundance of riches flowed into my life. I love Oprah's new show THE BIG GIVE.

This is how we can change the world. It will happen on a community level. The other day I heard a woman on the radio say that she was at Trader Joe's, and just as she was checking out, she realized she had forgotten her wallet. Instead of sending her away, the cashier offered to pay for her groceries — and when she gushed apologies, he refused to let her pay him back. It wasn't that much, she had only purchased a few items, but still — this kind of generosity in "paying it foward" could change the world. This is how we'll win over corporate greed.

What has always, always seemed wrong to me is excess consumerism. It has never seemed natural to have so many stores, so much pavement, so many products. The other day I was driving back from Palm Springs where I did a wonderful TV show and I wandered into an outlet mall. People were shopping mindlessly, staring at "things" and never looking at each other. It's so bizarre, this shopping mentality — as if "stuff" can really fill you up. We have been programmed to be shoppers, always searching for something material to fill us. But it never does.

We are snowballing toward chaos and excess for one purpose -- to force us to look within.

Finally.

LESS IS MORE
By the way, what's wrong with downsizing, simplifying and living with less? Less is actually more. Thom Hartmann said, “Why are we so hell bent on ‘economic growth?’ Why not ‘economic stability?” If economic growth means even one more cancer death, then I am for stabilizing the economy, not growing it."

If the economy slows down, won't prices drop? Isn't necessity the mother of invention? I have long believed the emerging green economy will save American industry. But we have to stop thinking of ourselves as separate and superior to the rest of the world. Germany is excelling in solar power, and we should learn a lesson from their solar model.

As home prices drop to human levels, wouldn't it be great if the average American could actually afford to buy a home without killing himself — without holding down two jobs, or having his spouse bring in the second income while the children stay in day-care until 7 p.m. after a harrowing drive in rush hour?

This got me to thinking about Ted Knight’s favorite expression: “less is more.” He used to advise us not to mug for the cameras — and that there was more power in underplaying a scene. These were his acting tips in the beginning of Too Close For Comfort. I was too scared to look into his eyes, so I'd look at his forehead instead. He kept standing on his toes to get into my line of vision. Ted thought I was doing this on purpose, and the National Enquirer sent spies down to check out the tension on the set.

GROW YOUR OWN
I believe that less really is more when it comes to quality of life. In fact, lately I’ve been longing for a country life or "pastoral life" ( without the sheep.) I'm obsessed with HGTV and all the shows on fixing up houses, painting, cooking and gardening. Growing our own herbs and vegetables, building furniture, downsizing, shedding excess... I've actually been making my own hand lotion and face cream (olive oil & glycerin) because I'm sick of the chemicals the big brands put in there. Who knows what we're putting into our bodies with 'Aluminum Silicate, Dimethicone, Triethanolamine, Methylparaben, DMDM Hydantoin... (partial list of ingredients in a major label hand lotion.)

JOY IS CONTAGIOUS
It is also true that abiding by principle really pays off: if you treat your employees well, they will strive for you; they will be more loyal and more dependable. Trader Joes, CostCo, Starbucks, Best Buy and Google all pay great benefits and overtime; they have proven that companies who really do the right thing, are rewarded by the laws of the universe. To me this proves there is “goodness in the universe” – and that the Golden Rule works! Honestly, when I walk into Trader Joes or Costco, the employees seem to love their jobs. They are incredibly happy. Joy is contagious. On the other hand Circuit City keeps wages low, somehwere around $8 dollars an hour, just above minimum wage. they fire employees in order to hire new ones at lower wages. Guess what? Circuit city is failing. WalMart uses similar tactics; though they brag they donate more money to charity than any other company, they are not fooling smart people. Charitable donations are tax write-offs; why don't they put all that money into employee health care instead?

I love Stephen Covey’s book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” which basically proves that in business, if you abide by certain fundamental principles of justice, honesty and kindness — and seek to understand rather than to be understood (in other words, if you do the right thing) everyone is happy, wealth is created and harmony prevails.

To me this principle is most clearly and mysteriously propelled by “giving to the poor” or tithing.

As Obama says, "Pain trickles up." In a country such as ours, where corporations are given huge tax breaks and executives get million dollar bonuses, hoarding wealth at the top levels does not "trickle down." The government must step in and help the middle class and the poor. We can’t leave it up to the churches and synagogues to take care of the "least among us," as The Great Peacemaker admonished.

The day I started seeing the world through other people’s eyes and feeling other’s pain, is the day I can honestly say I became more progressive, inclusive, democratic, less fearful of the "other." In other words, I was a Republican and then I got sober. As I shed my old selfishness, I began to suspect other people existed in the universe — and not just to serve me.

By the way, LIBERAL IS NOT A DIRTY WORD; it's a beautiful word! It means "generous, bounteous, freedom loving, protecting of civil liberties."

Courtesy of Carl at SimplyLeftBehind "Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African-Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did Conservatives do? They opposed them on every one of those things...every one! So when you try to hurl that label at my feet, 'Liberal,' as if it were something to be ashamed of, something dirty, something to run away from, it won't work, Senator, because I will pick up that label and I will wear it as a badge of honor." -- Matt Santos, The West Wing

Despite thirty years of 'liberal-bashing as blood sport' on AM Talk Radio via Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Michael Savage, Sean Hannity, etc — I believe GOOD CONSERVATIVES ARE LIBERALS AT HEART. Obviously, anyone who's paying any attention knows FOX News should have its license revoked for being a propaganda news network. I don't mean Fox Primetime or Fox Entertainment Network, but Fox News Division. Billionaire owner Rupert Murdoch admitted he tried to use his news channel to sway public opinion for a rush to war. Why isn't it a crime to pretend to be are a "fair and balanced" news broadcast, whose sole purpose is to deceive and manipulate viewers? My radio co-host Doug Basham said something very wise: "If Fox News thinks the media has a liberal bias, why aren't they showing us all the good news out of Iraq and the Bush administration? Why aren't they showing any other pictures, taken by their own "news" team?" BECAUSE THE TRUTH HAS A LIBERAL BIAS, that's why. It's hard to camoflage the truth, but they sure are trying.

The very idea of “conservatism” is antithetical to the Christ idea of loving ones neighbor as oneself, not judging others, blessing ones enemies, turning the other cheek, giving to the poor, giving one’s cloak, washing the feet of the lepers... in other words, 'love conqering fear.'

Conservative means "cautious, restrained, opposed to change." Sounds fear-based to me. And Christ said, "Love casts out fear." If the definition of God is Love, doesn't this mean that if you have faith in God you have nothing to fear? So tell me again, why are we at war with terror if we have faith in God? (The fundamentalist Christian right-wing agenda according to George Bush, Tony Perkins, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, James D. Kennedy, Ann Coulter, Dick Cheney, James Dobson, Ted Haggart and the most dangerous pastor in America - John Hagee - who is advocating war with Iran! (Please read my expose on Hagee in the archives.)


Charity begins at home. Here are a few of my favorite sites to begin helping others.
ONE.org
The Hunger Site.com (one click feeds the hungry. It's free!)
Do One Nice Thing.com
Good News Network.org

CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE

When I read the newspaper, I look for the good news because every thought we think changes our biochemistry. Your hormones are all affected by your thoughts. Pay attention to things that bring you joy. - Dr. Christiane Northup

"Enthusiasm and courage actually change your brainwaves, which means that your thoughts can physically change your reality. This also means you can be attractive even if you're not good looking because if you radiate love, you attract people." - Lydia Cornell
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PEACE IS SEXY * OBJECTS OF CREATION

At the Pentagon peace rally the other day, a Republican protestor against the protestors held up a sign saying "PEACE SUCKS." I know it isn't sexy to stop arguing or fighting. I know it's more fun to gossip, vent, scream, yell and find fault with others. I know it is more exciting to watch a train wreck than a healing, but it doesn't help heal anything, in fact it keeps us stuck. Bad news proliferates because of our constant nurturing of it. I'm not saying stop shining a light on the bad guys like Rove, Bush, Cheney, Gonzales, Delay, and corrupt corporations. I'm saying let's also uplift each other by seeing the hope that is right around the corner. We need to see our innate goodness and know that truth will thrive as good people come into power.

JOY
I have been experiencing moments of pure joy lately. It all started when I consciously decided to shift my thought to seeing the beautiful in life. Believe me it hasn't been easy, in light of all the bad news in the world. But ever since I took a class in spiritual physics (metaphysics) I began to practice "reversing my thought" and looking up. Literally looking up at the treetops, at the higher laws in operation. In other words, the spiritual invisible goodness running things. Now I'm madly in love with life, people, trees, flowers, nature — and I'm seeing things I never saw before! It's amazingly beautiful out there. I'm seeing more and more beautiful objects of creation.

I have also shed my jealousy of others and have begun to see everything with new eyes. Suddenly a new sense of compassion and love for strangers in the news and on the street — even people who seem gruff and don't smile back. I saw a sad-looking Hispanic gardener on our street the other day, and I silently blessed him. He looked up and beamed back at me. Think of all the people who seem invisible, as if no one cares about their burdens.

My ideal day: going on a road trip with the kids in the back of the minivan. We went to Tahoe over the holidays, and I can't tell you how majestic the snow-covered treetops are as you drive up to Lake Tahoe. It looks like heaven. In fact the town we went to is called "Heavenly." I get a calm peaceful feeling whenever I see a picture of Tahoe or Sedona, so I keep a postcard of Heavenly, right by my computer.

For the past few years I have not behaved in a very admirable way toward my husband. He used to annoy me when he wouldn't listen or care about anything I was interested in, especially politics. But I began to look at him differently. Everytime he annoyed me I would thank him for the good. I became sweeter and more loving and lately, I have fallen back in love with him. The kids are actually nicer too.

Joy is coming back. Despite the horror stories in the news, I truly believe that if we keep our eyes on the "beautiful, the good and the true" as Paul said -- if we "think on these things" and we will bring these into our lives proportionate to our thought.

Man is the offspring of Spirit. The beautiful, good, and pure constitute his ancestry. - Mary Baker Eddy.

In reality, man is not material, he is spiritual. We are just so focused on the material, we forget where we came from and what we're made of. Man's misguided belief in duality (his belief in a devil, in "evil as a force" as big as God) causes most of his problems. But THERE IS NO OPPOSING FORCE. I know it seems like there is, and this is difficult to wrap your mind around, but try it. Try focusing on only the good in life. It will change everything. Only good is real and eternal. But as I said earlier, I know peace isn't always sexy.

Paul wrote, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8). Paul’s list contains elements that all point to God.

Paul’s list contains “things that are honest,” “things that are just,” “things that are pure,” “things that are lovely,” “things that are of good report,” “virtue and praise.” And, he tells us to think on these things. All of these things lead us to a life that is peaceful in Christ. Paul tells us to “think on these things.” We are to keep them in our mind. He wrote in Romans, “For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace” (Romans 8:6).

We are to be anxious for nothing (Philippians 4:6): we are to put our trust in God. We are to pray to Him for everything: “but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God” (Philippians 4:6). And we are to meditate on Holy things.

This is THE SECRET. They just left out the Christ.

Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you Smile (except really mean thoughts about George Bush.)